Not So Private Actions
by Sawahii
Summary: Achievement unlocked: Fanfiction Fanatics! An exclusive PA theater brought to you by SRF-006's forum members! Various pairings and 400% spoilers!
1. Hide and Go Peek

Akumarayne: *opens curtains* We don't own anything – if we did a LOTTA things would've happened... a lot of 'inappropriate' things probably.

Sawahii: And there you have the disclaimer from the lovely Aku-chan herself! Introduciiiinnggg the charming Shiaori on stage! To help me with the intro summary!

Shiaori: Hiiii *blinks, juggles*

Sawahii: Dah! Nuuu, Shi-chan, the summary!

Shiaori: You know those moments where the scene goes dark? It's usually at a moment where you really feel like something important is going on but the most paranoid of us will never know it might well be something perverse is happening but we don't know. For all intents and purposes we'll assume its alternative PAs... or possibly failed attempts at stealing Faizes's trademarked evil black scarf...

We, the SRF-006 crew (because SRF obviously stands for Super Rambling Forumers right?), proudly present to you a collection of random PA stories! Who says we need to mass produce Love Potions to get to the good parts?

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**Title:** Hide and Go Peek

**Written by:** Sawahii

**Characters/Pairings:** Edge, Lymle and Faize. Slight EdgexFaize if you squint.

**A/N:** This is dedicated to Akumarayne for just being too awesome and coming up with the idea of co-writing in the first place! And also not to mention the title of this fic 'Not So Private Actions'; the achievement name; and writing the majority of the chapters so far! Really thanks so much!

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**Hide and Go Peek**

Bright green eyes moved rapidly left to right across the page; brain absorbing the key information; one hand tangled in his vibrant blond locks, the other tapping the pen, rather irritatingly, off the desk. This was a sight to behold as Captain Edge Maverick of the SRF-003 Calnus was doing work for once!

Generally, paperwork of any sort was carelessly shoved into the hands of a certain lime-haired Eldarian and returned to him for signing. However after being scolded by the First Officer for not fulfilling his own duties, the poor blond was locked in his room (much akin to that of a naughty child) until he had completed that skyscraper of paper on his desk. To be fair, it really wasn't all that much because luckily his workaholic alien friend had done most of it prior to the scolding, shoving, and pad-locking.

BEEP, FWOOSH. The sound of the door startled him. He didn't expect to be let out of his jail so quickly! Or maybe they were just checking up on him, anyhow, just in case he continued to shuffle through the papers to make it look like he was busy the whole time, not staring blankly into the wall from boredom.

There was a scuffle of footsteps, too small and soft from anyone of a large build, "...Edgie, I'm bored."

He swivelled around to face the girl, who was still shorter than he was sitting down, "Well, what do you want to play?" Meanwhile, in his mind he wondered how the tiny brunette had managed to unlock the door without getting the key and pass-code from Reimi... she rarely says no to Lymle, especially when the girl makes her puppy dog eyes and 'I'm bored; play with me' face as proven many a time that Lymle in the kitchen was literally a recipe for catastrophe.

As soon as the word "play" was mentioned the Lemurisian's eyes practically lit up and grabbed his hand enthusiastically in attempt to drag him up so that they can start playing immediately. "Let's play hide and seek! You go hide now, 'kay?" She commanded as she shoved him out of the room, once he was out, the child darted back into the room and counting could be heard, "1. 2. 3. 4-"

'Hmmm, now where to hide?' he contemplated. They played this game so many times now that the clever girl knew his all of usual hiding spots. 'There must be somewhere I haven't hidden in before... well, there were always the bathrooms, I guess...' he thought to himself. It was just a choice of which one now, though both held memories that were not so pleasant to recall as Edge shivered at the disturbing thought of barging in on Bacchus using the little robot's room but supposed it was the lesser of the two evils if it were to happen.

Fortunately for the blond captain there was no cyborg using the bathroom this time, 'And I'll just hide in the toilet cubicle; Lymle wouldn't think to check in here!' However, unfortunately –or perhaps fortunately to some fangirls' delight – the green-haired Eldarian entered the room and the shuffling of clothes could be heard from Edge's hiding place.

At this moment, there were two words kept repeating themselves in the hider's mind, 'Oh. Crap.' In the meantime, the person remained oblivious to any other presence in the bathroom other than himself as he proceeded to shower. Fan-girls, here is a box of tissues for any nose-bleeds you may suffer from during the imagination of this scene.

Frantic, he speculated the options: A) barge out right now, telling Faize or Bacchus the truth; B) crawl out, pretending to be a cat; C) wait it out and hope the person doesn't find out. Option C was most appealing, mostly because it was too late for him to apologise for plan A – the guy was already showering for Lemuris' sake! And he doubted plan B would go as well as it did with Reimi. He wouldn't want a punch from whoever was in there... speaking of which does Bacchus even shower? Well he's probably blood-proof, he thought whilst rest his head on his hand against the wall, leaning against something which sunk in, 'Oh Aeos, help me.'

FLUSH!

Meanwhile, the person, who was still taking his sweet time showering, was scorched by the hot water from of the sudden flush of the toilet, resulting in a very girly scream - 'Oh so it was Faize after all.'

The shower doors banged open and there was some shuffling about before the Eldarian dared to ask who it was.

At a loss for words, Edge mewed guiltily, "...Meow?"

"Edge is that you?" he slowly approached the door.

WHIR

"Uhhh... I swear! It isn't what it looks like!" Edge cried innocently with hands up in the air in an 'I surrender!' fashion; whereas the other teen's flushed shoulders shook gently. Was it from embarrassment? He was persuaded otherwise when he saw Faize's piercing eyes from underneath the dripping green bangs - for a split second they almost seemed crimson. From nervousness, eyes shifted its attention elsewhere, "...Uhhh... those tattoos are really cool? Where did you get them done?" The blond asked partly in genuine curiosity, but for the most part in attempt to change the subject and perhaps safely make a quick escape as he slowly edged towards the door, eyes briefly focussing on the exit. Not amused, the Eldarian made a swift flick motion with his wrist.

FAIZE used ICE NEEDLES! It was a direct hit! Super effective! EDGE fainted!

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**A/N:** Hehe, sorry couldn't help but to add in the Pokémon reference at the end! XD

So, as mentioned above, this idea stemmed from Aku-chan and as you can see we have plenty of fun in the forums (especially in the Story Ideas thread where lots of wonderful ideas are always afloat)! Shi-chan's dedication should be coming up soon! (I think... *pokes Brain-kun alive with stick* Get working you!)

Though I feel a bit sorry for Edge, he seems to be the object of abuse – whoops! Sorry Edge! We're going to be laughing at your expense! XD

Anyhow, onwards with the next one!


	2. Clothing

**Title:** Clothing

**Written by:** Akumarayne

**Characters/Pairings:** Edge, Bacchus, Lymle and Myuria. Slight Lymle/Faize

**A/N:** Myuria always has to work her way into my stories somehow. This is loosely based off the PA where Bacchus talks about being afraid of turning into an emotionless android/robot.

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**Clothing**

It was another long flight so Edge decided to do what he normally did. Converse with the other members of the crew! One of the more recent members called it 'harassment' but no one else seemed to mind.

Bacchus was standing next to the bed in his quarters, looking out at the unchanging sky when he noticed Edge's reflection, and turned to face him. "This room appears to be colder than normal."

"Oh? I didn't notice any difference but you would know wouldn't you? I'll go talk to Reimi about it." Edge replied making a turn for the door.

"I'll fix it, 'kay." Lymle said as she jumped off the bed and waddled over to the other side of the room.

Bacchus and Lymle were sharing a room now due to the numerous people on the ship, some not as cooperative as others making Edge play musical rooms until everyone was somewhat satisfied.

The girl stood before the towering steel giant and motioned for him to bend down. After he did so, she pulled out a long scarf and wrapped it around his neck. It was similar to the scarf Cerberus usually wore, although this one was made of green and white. She wrapped him up in the same manner, tossing it over his head then bringing the longer side over to loop before both ends were left to hang over the front of one of his metal shoulders.

"It was… supposed to be so that Faize would replace that really bad one he wore all the time, but Faize isn't good enough for it anymore, 'kay." Lymle explained though it was obvious from her actions what she had really intended to do with it.

"Are you certain? You have obviously spent a great deal of time in making this." Bacchus replied not quite sure of what to make of this situation.

"It's... certainly different." Edge remarked with a hand up to his chin, his other crossed his chest in a thoughtful pose. It looked out of place and in his mind reminded him vaguely of a snowman, or some type of advanced coat hanger.

"The room is a lot warmer now, 'kay." Lymle said nodding in approval.

"It appears that I have obtained a measure of warmth. I can only hope that one day I will be able to feel this with my own body." Bacchus replied in his usual manner, though a strange hint of sadness laced his words as if there were more to it then he was letting on.

"My, that's a new look for you Bacchus." Myuria said peering into the doorway her large heaving breasts resting against the frame and making Edge pink in the face.

Edge always had a hard time when it came to anything involving the woman. Her presence alone made him feel Reimi's heated glaze at the back of the neck. Whenever she spoke it was like she was raping his body in some cruel teasing way. Talking to her was far worse for he had a hard time knowing where to look and didn't want to seem rude when he had to look away while speaking. Even so, his gaze, as was normal for a male, strayed toward what she was so blatantly showing off one too many times.

"Mrs. Myuria..." Bacchus said in his usual calm tone. "I don't think eavesdropping is a good hobby for you." Bacchus, however, didn't seemed to have the same problem as Edge, as he spoke without hesitation, looking her properly in the face each time he had occasion to speak to her, which wasn't often now that Edge thought about it.

"I can't fool you can I?" The pink haired woman replied in her usual sensual way. "I think I have something that might match that new accessory of yours." She then disappeared but not without doing so in a manner that made Edge uncomfortable and in need of a cold shower later.

Edge, Lymle and Bacchus exchanged curious looks with one another but mostly toward Edge as he was appearing partially flushed at that moment. The two of them were about to ask if he was feeling alright but before they could say anything Myuria reappeared and attention was back on her, which was exactly how she liked it.

"If you're interested in wearing clothing, how about this?" Myuria asked and held up two garments. It was the usual style of dress for the females of ENII, a modest mid drift top and a short skirt.

"I do not think that would be entirely—" Bacchus began in protest but Myuria interjected.

"Appropriate? You're right, it's a bit too small to fit you. However…" Myuria said with a dangerous glint in her eyes as she looked over toward Edge.

"I…I think I'll be going now. See you!" With that Edge took off running.

While Myuria loved to tease Edge (and it helped that he was a very easy and very fun target) it helped her deal with the heartache of losing Lucien. For that she was thankful. Maybe one day she would seriously tell him thank you.


	3. Symbol Drawing

**Title:** Symbol Drawing

**Written by:** Akumarayne

**Characters:** Lymle, Arumat and Edge mainly.

**A/N:** I wanted to try to write a little bit about everyone, so now its Lymle's turn.

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**Symbol Drawing**

Lymle liked to symbol draw in the ship and only Reimi seemed to care to stop her. Edge didn't really mind and it seemed that either Reimi or Lymle herself had been washing it off anyhow. Edge would continue to hear complaints about it with only a shrug. If it made Lymle happy then Edge was fine with that.

Lymle had a system to her madness of draw arts. What looked so much like random doodles would one day come in handy and if not, there would be no harm in it. She just wanted to protect all the good friends she had met.

Every room needed a drawing and today her target was the storage areas. First the food storage area, and as usual Meracle was there salivating over the dry goods she could smell locked up in those many hard to open containers.

"Hi Merry." Lymle said in her usual impassive manner as she sat down in the center of the room and began to draw.

"Whatcha doing?" Meracle asked with interested as she jumped down from her spot on top of one of the boxes, going over to watch Lymle as she used her staff as a large crayon.

"Symbol drawing, 'kay." Lymle replied as she continued her drawing on the steel floor of the Calnus.

"Mmm... this is making me hungry." The blue hued cat-girl replied after several moments of watching her friend draw something that resembled a school of yummy looking fish, but considering that Meracle thought everything looked like food it wasn't certain if the symbol really was food related or not.

"Me to, let's go get something, 'kay?" Lymle replied finishing up and drawing back up to her short statured height. The two then departed after she had tapped her staff lightly on the finished symbol.

Lymle's next destination was the equipment and repair storage room in which she was met with a surprise. The moment the door opened and she had begun to toddle inside she crashed into a rather tall and strapping man, causing her to loose balance and tumble over.

"Watch where you're going, 'kay Mattie?" Lymle said a hint of annoyance gracing her usual emotionless voice as she got up and headed toward the center of the room to continue her drawing in silence.

The silver haired Eldarian glared down at her, but the action was ineffective as she was already facing away from him. Arumat would glare at a wall if it stood in his way. Well, the honest truth of it was that he would destroy it without a second thought. It was people that were good for glaring at, especially Edge. Arumat was a little disappointed upon meeting the man he had heard so much about. While Crowe was someone he actually did like (but only a little bit, as he still considered relationships to be an idiotic nuisance) and would follow, the red haired man had an annoying habit of talking entirely too much. He was thankful that his blonde haired best friend did not share this habit.

"Drawing~ Drawing~" Lymle sang to herself as she continued to move her staff along, leaving white chalk marks in its wake.

Arumat decided that since the girl was minding her own business and ignoring him for the most part that there was no need to relocate. Besides, he was content here and would rather not have to walk about the ship, leaving himself open to harassment from the other crew members. Leaning against the wall furthest from her he closed his eyes to rest, or so he had hoped to do but when the door opened moments later he signed internally, for it was Edge, the very man who kept insisting to be his friend.

"Edgie!" Lymle said in her best happy voice, which was slightly more emotional then normal, as she got up to toddle toward him. Edge patted her lightly on the head, and she reciprocated with a quiet giggle of delight, which was all too rare for such a girl.

"Well, this is a surprise. I didn't think you could stand children Arumat." Edge replied seeing the two of them in the same room.

"Are you kidding? She is lucky she stayed out of my way." Arumat replied gruffly, not looking at either of the two and kept his eyes closed in a show of contempt.

"Don't be like that Mattie, you did good, 'kay." Lymle said back to him in her apathetic voice, still standing by Edge's side almost hugging his leg.

"Did good with what?" Edge asked curiously tilting his head to the side as he often would, and looked down at the young girl.

Arumat on the other hand glared icy daggers at her, but that was his usual look to anyone that attempted conversation with him, as Edge very much had become accustomed to lately.

"He helped with my symbol drawing, 'kay." Lymle said and pointed at a rather cute, chibi Arumat that was drawn onto the floor. "See?"

"Are you mocking me?" Arumat fiercely replied standing up to his full height, whereas he had been relaxing against the wall, stubbornly refusing to make any movements or show of respect for the ship's captain as he entered. Normally, Arumat acted properly with showing respect where it was due but, this boy was nothing to more to him then an impediment.

"No, no! She was just… well, drawing is just her way of… entertaining herself! I'm sure it'll wash away." Edge began in a panic, as he was quite used to the man's violent nature. While the only person to really get hurt was himself, he didn't want to chance anyone else getting injured simply because they annoyed or provoked the man.

"All done, 'kay~" Lymle said tapping the image and as it dissipated waddled out of the room nonchalantly.

Edge stood there looking confused, his eyes focused in bewilderment at the spot that had, moments before, been the girls scribble pad. Arumat stood, still angry at the whole incident.

"W-well, I'm sure she didn't mean any harm so…" Edge began uncertain of what action the grey-haired soldier would take against him, as fear clearly tinted his voice.

"If you value your life, you'll keep this to yourself." The Eldarian replied in his normal cross manner before disappearing out the door without waiting for reply.

Edge breathed a sigh of relief for this day he had not been shoved, pushed or beaten like tar by the older man. He had won this day, but was far from giving up on being friendly no matter how beatings he had to take.


	4. Battle Simulator

**Title:** Battle Simulator

**Written by:** Akumarayne

**Pairings:** very, very light Edge/Arumat?

**A/N:** I just found it amusing that Arumat had a disappointed face-set about there being no virtual gravity option for the battle simulator. (He's a battle maniac?)

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**Battle Simulator**

Finally! Edge had done it! His heart and soul were filled with an exciting sense of accomplishment that went with doing something difficult. What was it exactly that he had done? Getting away with flirting without Reimi knowing? Well sure, that would be good if Edge wasn't so dense about things, but that was not it. Was it that he finally managed to peek on someone in the shower and not get beat up? Well, that is a story for another time. Was it that he beat Reimi at chess? Naw, that wasn't such a grand task, after all, he beat Bacchus and he secretly thought the man wasn't even trying.

So what could this awe-inspiring event be? Simply, it was the fact he was able to have a somewhat decent conversation with Arumat that didn't involve threats of death, the phrase 'leave me alone' or his other standby 'I have nothing to talk about' which is what he normally got when the Eldarian wasn't angrily and silently glaring at him.

Though sadly, he would never get the silver haired man to break his silly superstitious habit. At the very least he had made some progress, however little it was.

— _Moments Earlier —_

After only a few moments of glaring, in which Edge had been practicing in the mirror whenever he could so that he could defeat the Eldarian, Arumat gave in seeing the humor in Edge's serious effort of attempting to glare silently back at him.

"While I was waiting for you that time we fought, I noticed that your battle simulator is lacking. Why does it not have an adjustable virtual gravity?" Arumat asked, the coldness lifting slightly from his voice and to some extent relaxed his usual guarded self. His arms resting at the sides of his battle scarred body, as they normally tended to crossed about his chest in annoyance.

"A... w-what? Adjustable gravity?" Edge responded. He was confused and stunned that Arumat actually said a whole sentence without adding in something about death or leaving him alone. He wheeled back a little in surprise too, which made the older man look slightly less sullen than usual, almost as if he were amused by Edge's action of surprise.

"I would have preferred to adjust the force of gravitic weight in the room while battling." Arumat responded as he looked down at Edge. The Eldarian was so tall he seemed to always be looking down at everyone.

"I don't really understand why that would be something you would want to do." Edge replied his mind working to figure out why this would be useful, as fighting copies of himself was a challenge in and of itself, at least for him it was. No one else bothered with the device and Reimi only used it to look at the stars.

"When there is a greater gravitic force, your body becomes heavier. This makes it harder to control your actions." Arumat continued. He was amused at the idea of Edge struggling even more against him than when they had originally fought.

"I suppose that could be useful in training." Edge replied as he mulled this over. He wasn't really keen on the idea, especially since Arumat had beaten him normally. It would be frightening to fight such a well trained solider while his body could barely stand.

"I like excitement in my battles, unlike you." Arumat said simply. "Death has nothing to be fearful of."

"W-well, I could probably ask Bacchus about installing something like that if you want." Edge said unsure of how to respond to either comment. The first wasn't exactly a false statement but it still stung his pride to hear it.

"No need. I won't be staying long, unless you plan to drag out this trip." Arumat replied putting emphasis on the last part of his words.

"No, not unless we get sidetracked by something else, hopefully that won't happen." Edge said brightening up a bit at the way the conversation was turning out.

"The longer you keep me around, the higher your chances of getting killed are. Not that I mind sticking around, though you seem to think lightly of my bad karma. It will be the end of you, that." Arumat said harshly and Edge groaned and shook his head.

The longer Edge was around the Eldarian the more he'd comment about their impending death by association.

"One day I will prove that silly notion of yours wrong." Edge said determined not to give up and make the Eldarian realize he meant it. "I swear it." He clenched his fists tightly. He hoped he wouldn't die trying but that would be fate's irony if he did.

Arumat merely shrugged, though his face didn't show it, he was slightly amused as Crowe had said the very same thing to him. "It's your funeral."

Ever so slowly, Arumat was starting to be won over by Edge's idiotic tendencies. He was finding out more and more just how right Crowe was about him.


	5. Body Markings

**Title:** Body Markings

**Written by:** Akumarayne

**Characters: **Myuria, Sarah, Arumat and of course Edge.

**A/N:** These are just the ideas of my insane mind, so like usual it's not something that actually happened or not, but would be pretty funny if they were true!

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**Body Markings**

Myuria and Sarah were seated at the bar counter while Arumat was standing nearby in his usual stern manner when Edge approached them. While it was not unusual for the two girls to be chatting, it was strange that Arumat would be involved. He wondered what they were discussing.

"I never thought I would see the three of you together like this." Edge remarked with childlike fascination.

"Why, hello there boy," Myuria purred and turned to face him, her breasts bouncing around lightly as she twisted the swivel chair.

"Perhaps we should involve him into this discussion as well?" Sarah asked in her usual capricious tone, addressing the two she had been previously speaking to.

"Hmm... Edge is a pretty straight laced boy. I doubt he would have many secrets." Myuria said as she eyed him up, straightening her body so that her cleavage was even more pronounced.

"Secrets? What sort of secrets are you guys sharing?" Edge asked. The word caught his attention and he now wanted to join in, despite Myuria's strange posturing in his general direction which caused his eyes to catch her display of fleshly delights.

"Sarah and I were wondering about Arumat's scars. He wasn't willing to share so I thought maybe we could exchange something about ourselves first. I was just about to mention my tattoos when you came by." Myuria explained in her sensual tone.

"I've been wondering about that myself. I always assumed it was some type of birthmark since you're the first female of your race I've met. I'm relieved that you all aren't androids, no offense." Edge replied.

Myuria laughed lightly her breasts bouncing up and down like a jello mold. "We aren't born with them, nor are they birthmarks. In order to use symbology you imprint the base element on your body. These marks on my face represent the thunder symbol." Myuria explained pointing a slender finger up to the right side of her eye and cheek where scarlet hued lines ran down in a strange pattern. "The markings that I have on the rest of my body are for the other elements that I use." She then ran her fingers up her leg and over the etchings on them in a low seducing manner that made Edge blush several deep shades of red.

"Oh." Edge meekly replied swallowing hard as her hand reached higher and for a moment thought she would lift up what little material she had for a skirt. Thankfully she did not.

Arumat smirked in amusement at Myuria's teasing and Edge's innocent boyish reaction, but it was so fleeting no one would have noticed. "Is the color used related to your use of symbology as well?" The Eldarian asked, the usual iciness ever present in his tone.

"No, it has no real effect other than matching well with my body." Myuria answered and tossed a few strands of her hair out of her face.

"What about you, Sarah? Are there any markings that your race has? Do you need to use the same symbol markings Myuria does?" Edge questioned thankful for something to take his mind off the pink haired woman's body.

"I was always able to use healing symbology naturally, though after accidently destroying part of our house I was banned from using offensive symbology inside the village." Sarah admitted though it was hard to tell from her frivolous tone if it really was accidental or not. "As for markings go, I have none, but there is something that I do have."

"Oh?" Myuria and Edge both made a noise of interest.

"You see, I found this very odd book one day when I was wandering around in Astral. I believe it was a called 'Erotic Piercings' so I decided maybe I should try it out." Sarah explained smiling in her usual happy manner, her hands folded politely in her lap, and it seemed she wasn't about to elaborate on this, but even if she had, the three of them wouldn't have heard it, being as they were, in a speechless stupor, staring perplexedly at Sarah's chest wondering if she really _did_ decide to do something so outrageous just like that.

The fact that the Featherfolk seemed a bit _too_ cheerful about such a thing made them wonder if there was more going on then they knew. At first they considered maybe they had misheard her or that maybe they were all going delusional from cabin fever, but upon asking her to repeat this, she merely said the same thing and added something about why it was dangerous to skip around in mixed company due to another piercing she had gotten later.

"You have a lot more guts than I would have imagined." Myuria began after several moments in which she had regained her composure, the first of the three.

"I would allow you to see, but boys are not allowed to peek on a woman. It would be indecent." Sarah said first to Edge then to Arumat. The Featherfolk's body, however, seemed to tell a different story which only added to the already tense atmosphere that enveloped the room further frustrating the members of the male sex who were already sexually deprived.

Edge merely groaned, not knowing what to do or say. Arumat seemed indifferent, which wasn't really a surprise to anyone. Both of the two seemed in need of a cold shower, along with other things that really shouldn't be discussed here.

"What about you, boy? Is there anything on your body that you want to share with us?" Myuria asked, a sly smile on her face as if she were up to something.

"Err... No. Not really. I don't have any battle scars or tattoos aside from the Muah symbol on my hand." Edge replied. He had almost forgotten about that himself, as it wasn't visible and rarely appeared.

"I figured as much." Myuria replied then turned to Arumat, jutting her finger at him in an accused manner. "Your turn. We've all shared something about ourselves, so tell us about your scars."

"I suppose I must then." Arumat said somewhat hesitantly. "The scar on my face I received from an incident… in which I had gotten drunk and… tripped over the pole of my scythe and… fell on the bladed end." He confessed embarrassingly and took to glaring at a nearby way.

"I wouldn't have pegged you for the drinking type." Myuria replied astonished. Though in times of suffering, distress, and other emotions upsets people usually relied heavily upon such a thing, herself included, so it was not a real stretch that the Eldarian, who had seen so much happen in his life, took to the occasional drink.

"Now, now, Arumat." Sarah began and at the shock of everyone went to pat the man on the shoulder. "I am sure we can all agree that you should take better care of yourself."

Arumat roughly shrugged the Featherfolk's hand away from him. "My body is fated to waste away along with my soul, what matter is it that I care for it?"

"Because you're our friend, and we care about you." Edge spoke up this time, Sarah not minding the Eldarian's rudeness, and everyone was glad she didn't end up dead from her reckless action, but could it really be called reckless if she didn't quite understand dangerous situations most of the time?

Arumat made a small noise in his throat but nothing more, going back to the somber, angry expression that always graced his pale scarred face.

"So…" Myuria began not giving up on having everyone tell a bit about themselves. "If not a physical defect, there must be something else of interest about you, boy."

"Um…" Edge said nervously. "W-well… I don't think there is, really."

"Hmm… there must be something." Myuria mused, finger to her lips in a seductive manner.

"Ah… I-I think I'll go and check on some things. Bye!" Edge replied and ran off to the ship's control room.

"Next time, you won't get away so easily." Myuria said, laughing hauntingly.

"Perhaps next time we should talk about our fetishes." Sarah suggested in her usually calm, airheaded voice that made everyone just about fall to the floor.

"You know, I think I'm beginning to like you Sarah." Myuria replied. It seemed she had joined quite the interesting little group. She would have to make sure to come up with some way of getting the two males to spill a bit more of themselves next time around.


	6. Bad Pickup Lines

**Title:** Bad Pickup Lines

**Written by:** Akumarayne

**Pairings:** Myuria/Edge

**A/N:** I don't know if I should apologize or not, I blame Myuria!Muse for this. She always wanted me to write something like this anyhow. I have no idea if what I wrote about her is true, so take it with a grain of salt as it's just the crazy ideas of my perverted mind.

* * *

**Bad Pickup Lines**

_**"AURA SPARK!"**_ Edge screamed as a blast of hot white energy radiated off his sword. It became a force of its own as the blinding white energy formed into waves and streaked across the battlefield, defeating whatever was in its path before fading away.

"I wouldn't mind being Aura Sparked by you… all night long." Myuria replied as she flipped back her waist length bubblegum pink hair, and jutted her barely covered breasts forward.

"W-w-what?" Edge asked turning a deep shade of red and almost cutting off his arm in the process of sheathing his sword, though he did manage to give himself a nice cut on his forearm.

"You know, boy. That's a very suggestive move you have there." Myuria replied sensually as she watched him cast a healing spell on the wound. "That hot-white blast is a lot like something else males can do."

Edge merely stood there, mouth dropping to the floor. Myuria always seemed to affect him in ways he never had imaged or dreamed were possible.

"If you have time to watch, you have time to assist us in battle." Arumat replied a little discouraged that all the pink haired female ever seemed to do was stand around and wave her hips seductively in battle. He had no idea why Edge even invited her into the active party, but as Edge was the leader he would not complain about who the Earthling choose to fight alongside him.

"You're even more suggestive." Myuria countered and turned to face the tall Eldarian, her breasts, like usual, bouncing as if she were in a smut movie.

"I do not complain about your choice of battle attire, and I suggest you do likewise to others." Arumat replied as he tapped the end of his scythe against the side of his boot.

"I wasn't talking about that, though now that you mention it, isn't showing off all that skin just asking for more injuries? Especially the way you recklessly fight." Myuria questioned.

"Would you like to take your complaints up with my scythe?" Arumat asked, an amused expression on his face.

"I'll pass, thanks." Myuria replied then turned back to Edge, stalking toward him, her body heaving and moving in all the right ways. She lifted his mouth up from its slack jaw position with a slender finger. "Let's go, boy. Or do you intend to stare at me all day?"

"Uh... right." Edge spluttered and ran on ahead quickly.

* * *

Myuria was far from finished in her teasing of the two however, and waited until another opportunity presented itself for her to, again, make a sexual comment that would rile both boys up, or at least give Edge a hard time. It was so amusing to watch the boy struggle and blush so innocently at her overly sexual movements and comments.

"I'll finish this in one stroke." Arumat called out as they faced off with weak monsters that they were unable to avoid.

"I do hope you last longer outside of the battlefield." Myuria replied as the battle ended and she danced around her staff as if it were a stripper pole.

"Are you mocking me?" Arumat asked dangerously, his yellow eyes glaring the daggers of a shadow needle at her. He would to if it were at all possible to kill someone with glaring.

"Didn't I tell you? Your words are just as suggestive." Myuria countered in a light teasing voice which almost made Edge tear his hair out.

How much more frustration could the young earthling's body handle before he had to take drastic measures? He could hardly take much more and wondered internally about why he kept bringing her in to the active party when he knew she would be a threat to his sanity and possible distraction that may lead to his death.

A vivid thought decided to teasingly enter his mind, one of him dying and the pink haired beauty leaning down and taking a fresh sage from between her ample breasts she clenched it between her teeth before kissing him and working the sage into his mouth.

While Edge was busy day dreaming about being revived and maybe accidently coping a feel of the women's ample chest, Myuria and Arumat continued on in their conversation both too distracted to notice a drooling Edge.

"Your fires of hell can consume my flesh anytime." Myuria replied posturing in a sensual way. She had heard him call that out a few battles ago as he casted Fire Bolt.

"Keep talking if you want to die an early death." Arumat said not amused by the pink haired female's pretty seriously joking.

"Fine." Myuria said in a huffed tiff. "Edge is a lot more interesting to tease anyhow." She then turned to Edge who was lying in a pool of his own blood with a big smile on his face, apparently having been killed by his own fantasy.

Myuria shrugged and cast restoration on the boy. _/Well, stranger things have happened./_ she mused to herself.

Several battles later Myuria had manage to increase her strength. "Tell me what you think, boy. Be honest." She asked winking seductively at him.

"You're a dirty whore who likes to tease men and make them do things to themselves while in the shower and after this I don't think I'll have you in battle anymore because I really can't take the stress of this any longer." Edge blurted out. If she wanted honesty, she would get it along with an extensive rant about the color blue and things that one should not really say to a half naked female symbologist.

"I'm beginning to think the same." Arumat concurred, speaking up after Edge had finished and was now panting and leaning against his sword in exhaustion.

"I've never experienced a three-some before." Myuria whispered lacing all the sexuality she could into those words. She hadn't really minded all the things Edge had said about her, mostly because they were all true to some extent. As before she had met Lucien she was not at all ashamed about shoving her breasts into whose ever face she fancied at the time. "Maybe we should give it a try?" She winked at them, hand on hip, and staff between her legs.

The two hadn't really counted on her being so forward with the admission of guilt, and especially did not expect her to suggestive such a thing. If anything Edge suspected she'd be hurt and somewhat angry at his accusations to her slutdom.

"What do you say?" Myuria suggested. She knew full well what she was doing when she decided to come out with the two of them alone. Myuria fully intended on making Edge into a man at some point before this was all over. It was just an innocent hobby of hers to steal men's virginities from them. There was no shame in this, nor in the way she chose to dress.

The two men exchanged glances at one another, Edge moved closer to ask the Eldarian his opinion on the matter. "I'm not quite sure what to make of this situation, what do you suppose we do?"

Whispering back the Eldarian replied with something about how Edge was captain and what he chose to do was none of his concern, then added he would have none of it and would be heading back to the ship.

"I don't think its right to… take advantage of you like that." Edge said keeping a healthy distance from her. "There's got to be some better way to deal with your loss, right?"

Myuria turned toward the Eldarian. "What about you? Fancy having a good time with a lady?"

"I'm not interested in any manner of relationship, especially these types." Arumat replied darkly and turned to walk off, caring not if either of them followed.

"You know, boy. It's rude to leave a woman to her suffering." Myuria said turning back to the blond haired captain of the ship. "I wouldn't mind being comforted by a sweet innocent boy."

"Maybe you should go back to drinking? I think we still have plenty back in…in…"  
Edge began but was stopped when Myuria closed the distance between them and was now pushing her body up against his.

"I'd rather have a drink from you, boy." Myuria replied and began to strip the boy of his clothing.

Back at the ship, Arumat had just ascended the steps and was about to enter the ship's entrance door when he heard a familiar voice cry out into the air.

"_**AURA SPARK!"**_

Shaking his head the Eldarian entered the ship alone, his face cold and expressionless, but inside he was chuckling lightly to himself. Sometimes, things should be left a secret.


	7. Midnight Special

**Title: **Midnight Special

**Written by:** Akumarayne

**Characters/****Pairings:** Edge, Arumat, Sarah and Myuria (and a hint of Reimi). Implied Edge/Arumat

**A/N:** It's all just a misunderstanding! *dodges scythe*

* * *

**Midnight Special**

How can it be in day in space when all that was visible though the windows were an inky blackness that was met with spots of light that were faraway stars? Wouldn't an endless night drive you to eventual cabin fever? Apparently not, but what it did do, on some occasions when most of the crew of the Calnus slept seemed to be cases of midnight munchies and trips to the restroom.

It was hard to regulate a sleeping pattern in such conditions. However, Reimi, ever the mother figure to everyone set a timer to beep throughout the ship at the times when they should rest, and then set the lights to turn off leaving only a faint, dull yellow hue that was cast by the emergency lights.

Edge thought it was a clever idea and he liked it himself. Other people weren't so thrilled, but any kind of complaint was met with Reimi's fierce stare and that seemed to placate them.

Sometime before their appointed bedtime Edge had engaged in a contest of 'who could drink the most' which consisted mainly of Myuria, Arumat, Sarah at Myuria's insistence, Meracle because Edge was doing it, and Lymle because both the Featherfolk and the feline were participating.

It was shortly decided that they would all drink cider, especially since most of them where underage. Bacchus was there but did not join in for obvious reasons which he explained when Lymle complained about it. Like most times when the two would attempt to discuss something Lymle either cut the conversation short or would begin to wander away disinterested.

Myuria thought it would be amusing to slip small amounts of alcohol into Edge's cider with every glass he drank. When Reimi had called a stop to the game Edge had been in third, Sarah second and Myuria in first. Edge suspected the bosomed women was spiking not only his glass but the glasses of Sarah and possibly Arumat, though the Eldarian hardly had any other expression then contented anger so it was hard to tell. Sarah had become increasingly obvious after the second however.

Even so, this did not stop Edge from trying to win. He was stubborn enough to do it too, even if he did think the cider tasted a little odd, but if he had said something the pink haired women would have either denied it or egged him on further. Clearly staying silent was the lesser of the two evils. That would be all he needed, to be teased by her body and words then be drunk on top of it.

Edge regretted all that now. Warm and comfortable in his bed he was awakened by the sudden urge to relieve himself of all that liquid refreshment. He groaned internally lying about for several more moments before he decided to get up. If he didn't he'd have to face a much more embarrassing situation otherwise. Worse still, he was partnered with the most stubborn, obstinate person in the whole crew. Arumat. Edge had just won a measure of respect from the man and he would really hate to lose it.

He had intended to quietly slip out of bed and through the door, but what ended up happening was him misjudging his position and tripping over the edge and falling head over heels onto the floor.

After righting himself he glanced over in fear that he may have woken up the room's other occupant. It was hard to tell, the room was so dark and he dared not get any closer. Quietness prevailed so maybe the man was a deep sleeper after all, that or maybe he was angrily pretending to sleep and would slaughter him in the morning for waking him. Only time would tell.

Silently he hopped over to the door and without further incident opened it. He was about to leave when something ran right into him. Both he and the heavy object ended up in a heap in the doorway.

"Oh my... Whatever happened?" A voice called out quietly in the darkness as a rather heavy object landed on top of her.

"Sarah?" Edge asked groping about in the darkness. Unable to clearly see a thing he had manage to accidently touch a lot of soft squishy places that would most likely earn him some type of physically pain.

"Edge!" Sarah replied shocked and began to struggle to get up and much like Edge, she was also scrambling around, her hands innocently groping about, touching and pawing soft, fleshly places to gain leverage enough to haul her body upward, never really noticing the loud intake of breath that had escaped Edge's mouth as she did so. "What are you doing!"

"I swear I didn't do it on purpose, it's just so dark and-AIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!" Edge screamed when the end of a long shaft of a weapon slammed down next to his head.

"What are the two of you doing in the middle of the night in the doorway?" The gruff voice of Arumat echoed. He made no effort to be quiet, not after Edge had awoken the one time he had managed to get in a peaceful slumber that didn't include nightmares.

"Nothing!" Edge cried. Arumat glared hard down at him. The darkness of the room made his yellow eyes glow like a hungry beast from hell. "I was just going to the bathroom when Sarah knocked into me."

Arumat roughly kicked the two the rest of the way out and the door shut with a soft swish sound. If they could have heard it from the other side of the door, they would have heard a lot of not very nice words coming out of the Eldarian's mouth.

Moments of awkward silence later, Edge spoke up. "What were you doing out here Sarah?"

"I was on my way back from the lady's room. I had forgotten to wear my glasses and I had thought this was my room." Sarah explained apologetically. Edge was never sure if she truly was sorry or not as the Featherfolk sounded like she was always suffering from the effects of some type of mystery drug.

"Why don't I show you back to your room, as I'm on my way to the men's room anyhow?" Edge asked.

"Thank you Edge." Sarah said, and when she tried to bow collided with Edge's midsection. "Whoops."

The two hobbled down the hallway, Sarah completely blind as she not only forgot her glasses but had a dark hallway to contend with and Edge still lightheaded from the liquor and now a sore gut and apparently something else that had hardened from all the grabbing and tumbling that had gone on in the hallway unintentionally.

It would have been a very funny scene in any other circumstance, the two walking in the manner of drunken best friends after a night in the town, swaying and supporting the other around the shoulder.

After making sure Sarah was safely returned to her room he (thankfully without anymore incidents) relieved himself and made his own way back to this room. He was unsure if he really wanted to go back in there with an angry, yet hopefully sleeping, hell demon, but the swelling and throbbing of his bodily parts, being lightheaded and barely able to keep standing gave in and walked, quietly this time, back into the room.

Success! He made it back into his bed without incident. Only his bed felt lumpier then he had remembered. He pushed his hand into what he thought was his pillow. When did his pillow have fur, or hair for that matter?

"Is this your idea of a joke, because I am not amused." A gruff voice whispered softly into his ear.

"A-a-a-arumat?" Edge squeaked out. Oh my god. He didn't. Did he? He could have sworn, sworn to high heaven this was his bed.

"Being drunk is no excuse to slip into my bed and attempt to arouse me." Arumat said, his breath hot and steamy, the two mere inches away from each other.

"I swear I thought this was… hey wait… this IS my bed." Edge cried as he dimly noticed the outline of a plush doll sitting on the shelf on the wall.

Arumat stayed quiet, a first as the man couldn't think of anything to say. If the lights would have been a bit brighter he would have caught the man with a light flush.

"Erm..." Edge began uncomfortably. The two of them laying so close to one another, both dressed in hardly anything, Arumat with only his pants and Edge with only his boxer shorts.

Neither of the two seemed to want to make a movement, almost like they were the deer in a pair of headlights. The silence dragged on, the two feeling the others breath upon their skin, the two very uncomfortable but neither knowing what exactly to do about the situation either.

The tense atmosphere grew thicker and the seconds dragged on agonizingly slow.

"Well, I guess that explains why my pillow grew fur." Edge said quietly attempting to do the only thing he knew, laugh off the embarrassing situation.

"Get out of this bed." Arumat said slowly and without emotion.

"But this is-"

"Or I will throw you out." Arumat cut him off bitterly.

"Alright! Alright!" Edge said and slowly, although he really wanted to jump but didn't want to risk hurting himself any further, crawled his way out of the bed and onto the floor. "As long you don't care if I-"

"We'll settle this later." Arumat relied in a rush as he turned on his side, away from Edge.

* * *

Edge was lucky that he had slept for more than a few hours. The fear of what was going to happen kept him up. He looked and felt like hell but at least he could pass it off as a hangover. Although certain parts of his body had refused to… stop throbbing for unknown reasons, parts that didn't include the usual headache hangover. He was starting to suspect Myuria had something to do with this.

"Rough night?" Myuria asked chuckling as Edge shambled ungracefully into the room and sat in one of the chairs of the recreation area.

"I have you to thank for that I suppose?" Edge said grumpily.

"I know exactly how to fix that hang over of yours, boy." Myuria said leaning over, her breasts heaving enticingly.

"No thanks, all I need is Sarah." Edge replied then regretted how his words came out.

"Mmm, so I heard last night. My, I didn't know she was your type." Myuria said almost disappointedly.

"N-no! You've got it all wrong!" Edge replied waving his hands about wildly. "I was just thinking that maybe—"

"Edge, what is she talking about?" Reimi interrupted both hurt and angered.

"Sarah barged into my room last night and I was helping her back, that's all! Really! Please don't misunderstand!" Edge cried arms still flying about hectically.

"It's true. If it wasn't for Edge I would have made a terrible mistake. I promise to remember to wear my glasses next time." Sarah explained in her usual calm tone.

Reimi still looked pissed and turned away to ignore him, and would most likely do so for the remainder of the day.

"By the way, Sarah, do you think Cure Condition works on hangovers?" Edge asked turning toward her.

"Yes. I help Myuria all the time with hers." Sarah replied and, without waiting for any answer, she Cure Conditioned him and his body was back to normal, the way it should be. No more painful throbbing whacked his body, and it was as though he had gotten a good night's sleep. Healing spells were truly an amazing thing.

"It must be the cure-all for any aliment." Edge mused. It was no wonder Myuria looked so good all the time despite her constant habit of always having a drink in her hand.

"I'm happy to make myself useful." Sarah replied and bowed.

Everyone then seemed to go off on their own leaving Edge by himself, all aside from Arumat who then approached him.

"I realize now that Myuria had spiked our drinks last night." Arumat said quietly enough not to be overheard but loud enough so that Edge would be able to clearly hear him.

"Y-yeah… so…" Edge began nervously. The knowledge that Myuria had drugged them with an experimental aphrodisiac and alcohol had made a very uncomfortable night less awkward.

"As far as I am concerned this incident never happened, alright?" Arumat replied in the same dangerous hell beast tone he had used last night, his yellow eyes glistening dangerously in the overhead lights as they focused upon the blond haired boy in an unsettling manner.

"I hope you didn't really think that I was…" Edge stopped short seeing this was not helping him any.

"I have nothing more to say." Arumat replied and walked brusquely away.

Edge swore that he would never drink before sleeping, or drink anything Myuria gave him ever again.


	8. Lights Out

**Title:** Lights Out

**Written by:** Shiaori

**Characters/ pairings:** Whole cast and no pairings, slight FaiLym squint and Edge meeting Myuria's NPC boobs

**A/N:** Dedicated to those really nice black screen moments you get at the worst times - a similar mentality to swapping a disc and wondering what you miss. Why exactly is it dangerous to have a malfunctioning light on the Calnus? Because time, space, locations and badly executed fanboy lines ensue, that's why.

* * *

**Lights Out**

The current, eight members of the crew didn't really prefer being trapped in one room. But then the usual yellow light flicking unpredictably was more of a concern all things considered. There are rumours after all about what happens when those lights go out and the malfunctioning Calnus seemed to be unsure if randomly plummeting the contents of the room to darkness was in fact a good idea.

In truth, giving the buzzing of light and shadow and the pairs of eyes fixed straight above them it may or may not have been. The smallest of the figures stared as the rapid glowing and dimming of the light reflected gold across dark eyes and she blinked, insisting in a low mumble, "... but it's not night-time, kay?"

Admittedly in space there is no day and night, but then even a man in a cave will eventually fall into a relatively rational sleep cycle. Even if space is not so much as a cave as a star lit abyss, the theory behind such a thing that a body will understand when it thinks sleep and wakefulness comes remains the same. Darkness crept upon the scene and that malfunctioning light disagreed with Lymle. Even if the smudging of artificial night was not really that dramatic a sudden lapse into chaos is still that, even if it might have been predicted.

"Meow! My tail..."

"As First Officer I must ask everyone to remain calm... please stay still!"

"Sorry Reirei but... it's really scary, 'kay?"

Gradually the buzzing of the light flooded back, Faize stumbling back and reaching up to where his shoulder had collided with a not so soft and forgiving part of the wall. He took a moment as the light flooding suggested something, looking to a streaking of darkness spirited away as his violet eyes glared out softly. "Lymle..."

Slowly and with impressive silence it appeared the girl had got all the way to the doorway with the cloak before turning round with a guilt crossed expression and a nervous smile. He slowly moved towards her and shook his head as embers of fire began to well their violence inches from the tasselled ends of her stolen prize.

Carefully he scooped up the long, apparently very evil and ill suited black cloak and turned back from her. "I've asked you about this, stop taking it and trying to burn it."

"But..." she began, sighing in the realisation she had in fact been close to incinerating the article of clothing to ash on that occasion. She watched him drape that cloak across his shoulders as she pouted back at him. "You spoil everything... big dummy..."

"It's not my fault Welch hasn't fixed it yet," he insisted, even if the reality was Lymle was referring to her pyromania tendencies and not the current state of things. The room took that moment to once again flick to blackness and any protests the Eldarian had come armed with was drowned in the familiar shuffling of bodies.

"Ouch!"

"I must apologise Mr Edge. It appears that used to be your foot."

"... yeah Bacchus, I think it used to be..."

There was the light sound of the Calnus captain stumbling back as light flooded back to the vision of the room's occupants. For a moment Edge remained still, rubbing the side of a slightly flattened looking shoe before freezing and blue eyes fixed up from what he had in fact believed to be two well placed pillows. The crackle of frenzied lightning in a staff told him otherwise.

"As much as I appreciate the sentiment boy..." Myuria's rasping voice came, elbowing her superior in the ribs as if he had been stung. With a face tinged more than pink he continued to nurse his foot, attempting for a dry, temporarily traumatised voice to otter words of apology.

"So that's where it went..." Reimi mused, reaching forward just as the temporary shock of light seemed able and more than willing to fade again. She reached out, carefully untying a long, pink ribbon which somehow had been fixed to the back of Edge's head, and she and Myuria exchanged curious looks to each other and then back at the captain. "And why did you have –"

"I can explain –"Edge began as the Morphus woman hiccupped a laugh to him. She carefully hitched up what is said to be a shirt, smoothed her skirt whilst looking back to him nervously and crossed one long leg over the other. The anticipation of darkness was, not so dramatically, upon them again. Edge sighed.

"Meow... night again? I'm getting hungry..."

Myuria's voice purred out. "No, you silly cat it isn't actually just a black screen. If this was a black screen we would all be –"

"I advise that you never finish that sentence, Mrs Myuria."

"What do you mean? It's pretty obvious what happens when the lights go out normally, that's why they have beds in inns right? Why else would we – OW!"

"I am sorry Mrs Myuria, but that was actually for your own good. I don't want to have to reprimand you again."

"Ooooh my... is the floor moving? I can't see it but it suddenly seems very far away..."

The room flickered back into view as Myuria collapsed back into Edge, who gave him a frosty glare as he shrank away obediently and gave her his place on apparent fear of his life. She delicately sat down, rubbing a place lower than her back and avoiding her fellow Morphus's eye carefully. Bacchus however had apparently forgotten his reprimand on her and was extracting Sarah from the ceiling with apparent difficulty.

"But I was really flying..." she announced cheerfully, apparently saved from an equally malfunctioning ceiling fan which shuddered to a halt as Bacchus twisted it to an obscure angle for safety. He gave her a quizzical look as she smiled, adjusted her glasses and seemed ambivalent to just how sharp and lethal such appliances sometimes can be. "That was amazing, I wasn't even concentrating..."

"I regret to inform you that that is not the correct function of that appliance, and it would have been harmful. Also you were not flying, Miss Sarah..." the Steel Giant informed her as the Featherfolk nodded absently. "I believe that the Calnus is currently malfunctioning more than technical difficulties..."

"Sleepy..." Meracle complained, hearing a sudden tremor of the ship and her eyes opened widely. Lymle nodded but her eyes were still falling back to that long scarf as if assessing her chances, and Faize inched away from her. "Wait, are we being attacked?"

"I suggest we keep calm..." Edge started as the glimmer of a purple and white ship appeared yet faded at that moment. It would seem that in a crisis some things can be predicted even if an approaching ship sometimes implies immediate and violent carnage. The shuffling of the various races continued. "I'm going to –"

"I'm advise taking your hand off me unless you want a painful death, amateur..."

"Ah, that doesn't sound good."

"Who are you people?" a new, cold voice continued from the door.

"Edgie, stop walking into people 'kay?"

"Oh, they have messed things up," Myuria announced as the lights flicked back on, Edge pushed back into the room under threat of a sharp yet very pink looking scythe. She looked to pale gold eyes fix upon violet as Faize looked back, apparently confused. At least, as confused as he was that Lymle was still reaching for his scarf. She pointed between the two faces, one scarred and the other mildly scared, and looked accusingly as if this was their fault. "We can't have two Eldarians on the same ship; he's not supposed to be here yet. Or perhaps not at all if we've played this before... ah, never mind..."

Faize looked back to her curious. "What do you mean if we're played this before... and why not? We have you and Bacchus, and Edge and Reimi? Why can't we have two of my brethren on the same ship?"

"Why am I here?" Arumat demanded, eyes fixing back to Edge as if it was his fault. Apparently the Calnus captain was used to being blamed. The light flickered and he looked back to them. "And what does two Eldarians on a ship have to do with anything? I was just on my ship; I'm commanding a fleet of us–"

"Yes, Mr Arumat that is the point..." Bacchus began, looking back to Myuria as she raised her staff in a rarely justified act of vengeance. He carefully reconsidered the regret in his voice and a silent understanding appeared to pass between the two. "But as you should not be here and apparently there is now a Cardianon ship approaching, we have a little of a predicament on our hands..."

"Didn't we fight them already?" Reimi asked, receiving a few nods. "So if we're getting stuff that's happened, that hasn't happened yet... well, this is a bit of a mess."

Lymle blinked. "I never got it. Why can't we just have Faize and Mattie both here?"

The darkness once again swamped them in the way of an answer. Given how used to how the crew now were from such a scene the silence was intercepted by a serious of overly exaggerated yawns and snoring. The darkness was a lot more prolonged than the momentary ones, given apparently the lack of maintenance was interfering with the plotline itself, and their snores were interrupted by the loud metallic clash of a second ship approaching.

Aside from a certain Eldarian's low grown indicating being here was keeping from much more important things, they remained silent. Heavy footsteps were heard along the corridor as they waited again on the lights, and hoped they were not in fact in permanent darkness now. This time the lights reignited with a crackle of an explosion, and instead of yellow the scene flooded back a deep, twinkling red.

"Erm... Edge began, looking around to where the beds had been. Now there were apparently only the littering of expensive looking alien technology, and six tall, reptilian Cardianons looking a little confused. Not that such creatures would be brilliant at conveying emotion, but Anthropomorphism is a curious thing. He looked at the clutter of various deep scarlet units before frowning. "What's going on now?"

He listened to the loud, thudding footsteps as the tall lizard men with machine guns apparently hadn't noticed that, even when under remodelling, the Calnus was not exactly their mother ship. Instead they watched a seventh, slightly taller member of them shove a familiar looking man with long red hair who had his hands in the air.

"I'm just going to ask this one more time," Crowe was saying to the one apparently acting as captain in their scaly entourage. He gave a flicker of a smile which Arumat returned, nodded at Bacchus and seemed ambivalent to Myuria's seething look of vengeful wrath. "Take me to your leader."

Edge blinked, staring back as Crowe gave a slightly wide grin. "Anything you could have said, and you said that to them? I'm seeing why they attacked us..."

"I remember this event from earlier," Bacchus announced, watching as Crowe just seemed to be amused at how things panned out and Arumat cracked his knuckles, looking out into space as if really wanting to leave. "This is a little confusing."

"Yeah, that's why I'm here," Crowe declared, fiddling with what appeared to be a glowing panel at the side of the door. The next moment what appeared to be scarlet theatre curtains draped heavily in front of them and blocked him from sight. The twisting of places and times seemed to melt together as the scene of several worlds' stages for once didn't really want an encore. "And fix the light..."

The crew stared back, bewildered as Arumat sank against the slightly glowing room and watched the scene once again fade to black, speaking quietly into his coms device as if trying to work out what had happened. The apparent performance was ended, and it seemed to be that Crowe Almedio had finished with a low bow.

"I suppose this is why we shouldn't turn the lights on and off," Sarah mused quietly, hearing several murmurs of agreement with her. That was until the audible, and not so sarcastic sounds of snoring, nudging and whispers began to flood the room.


	9. Styx and Stones

**Title:** Styx and Stones

**Written by:** Shiaori

**Characters/ Pairings: **Faize, Lymle, Cerberus, Reimi... I'd imagine FaiLym squinting as anything where she torments or makes fun of him seems to be

**A/N:** In a nutshell - Cerberus finally gets a bath and given how annoying and messy big dogs can imagine, add on to the fact if corporal he'd be a little on the difficult, fiery side... yeah. And naturally this leads to poor Faize eventually running for his life...

* * *

**Styx and Stones**

"You aren't getting out of this," the small girl pouted, brandishing a fluffy pink towel as if such a thing was a weapon. Admittedly for Lymle, seeing as she had in the past caused a fair amount of violence with something resembling a candy cane it was perhaps as dangerous looking. Cerberus stood his ground, eyes darting back to the large, blue pool of soapy water apprehensively. "All doggies need a bath sometime."

And by sometime, as the girl had insisted she could complete the task herself that time appeared to be now. The one who was apparently her "doggie" stood in the stark flooding of white and pale blue in the recreational room and flattened his ears. Looking out to the almost serene view of stars and slow blurred planets, he seemed a little out of place as an infernally summoned canine might well do. His slightly chipped, dark claws tapped against the ground; apparently Reimi was to see to those later.

"Now don't make this tough for me, 'kay," the demeanour darkened for a moment as the eyes of the beast stared back at his master's glare. It might be said that a creature used to cart wheeling streams of hellfire could be thought of more than a little dangerous, and he knew it was a show Lymle enjoyed. He had always been raising a red tinged nose to announce the triumph of a situation and a well earned nap.

All things considered, it seemed that with a slightly smoking coat he was a little powerless against something like a bath. He was also a little nullified by growling against someone who wasn't really finding him threatening.

He seemed to know this after assessing his options, backing away slightly as the clicking of overgrown claws became quieter. He hung his head to his slightly irritated looking charge; knowing that he would never really want to disobey here. All dogs are still dogs, whatever their place, and he was actually rather well trained. He even took pride in that fact.

"Good doggie," Lymle smiled as her dog, pet, guardian or whatever term for the same thing could be used for something as powerful as it was subservient inched forward. He however did so with a sound resembling defeatism. "Edgie doesn't like you running around making mess after we fight things, 'kay? And I want him to like me..."

Cerberus continued to growl in the tone not really caring for the opinion of an alien on a celestial ship, regardless if that alien was a captain. He looked back the ominous blue device with its inflated, well cushioned looking sides and might be thought of as a cross between a paddling pool and a trough animals would drink from. He tentatively stood in the shallow and soapy water with a withered expression as Lymle took a small, matching blue plastic bucket and sought to tip water over his head.

The drops cascaded down, sending smoke hissing and bubbling against slightly aflame, dark and red matted fur as the battle was literally cleaned from him. Cerberus looked back, as if to wonder if Lymle knew that he was a little more than a mere dog, and that look was only answered in a usual and vague smile.

"Faize is just a dummy," she mumbled, not for the first time and certainly not for the last. He felt his master take to scratching him between the ears, forgetting himself as he leaned in and heard Lymle give a rare laugh. He answered with a sound somewhat wedged between a good natured, threatening growl and a laughing bark; something which anyone else might have felt very intimidating. "He thinks you'd hurt our friends..."

It would take little to dry his fur as Cerberus emerged only moments later from that strange trough. Despite the fact that flaming fur needs little pampering he ignored that fluffy pink towel, instead taking to a casual, long shake and watched dark murky drops cover the pristine scarlet furniture. Lymle gave a small laugh as he faced her, long tail flipping from side to side. Contrary to popular belief, dogs do not always do such a thing when they are happy or amused, but rather Cerberus was dreading what still lay in store for him.

"I should get Reirei," his master told him, looking down to those claws as if counting the three that had thin, and pale fractures in them. In all truth that was actually not a bad idea, and cringed as he felt Lymle catch the end of his slowly wagging tail. Sitting it seemed hadn't been the best idea as Lymle was unravelling a long length of pink ribbon and in the process to tying a large bow to the end of it.

He stared back at it, only assuming that somehow a ferocious hound from hell was somewhat a less ferocious hound from hell if it had a pink satin bow. Cerberus mused that human, whatever their planet of origin, really were very confusing creatures.

"All clean and dry then!" the girl beamed as if impressed to have given him a bath and proud of herself. Her pet turned murderous eyes back, thinking how strange it was he had not just boiled all the water to steam and escaped his feet. Yet she was as happy now as he felt ridiculed. He continued to rap his nails against the ground as if wanting something flighty and quick to chase.

It would seem Cerberus's wish was soon to be granted.

"... such a mess," Faize descended the stairs, looking around to the splatters of dirt covering the room which had once been the steaming contents of a dog's bath. He stared at her, as if questioning why Reimi would have listened that Lymle was competent to bathe such a creature. "I knew... it doesn't matter. I'll clean this, just please keep that creature out of sight Lymle. He's dangerous, it's for your own good..."

The Eldarian trailed off, looking back to what would appear to be a wide, canine and feral grin. Unlike the wagging of a bow laden tail, the grin and growling laughter of a dog usually is universal. The laugh seemed to reach long, pointed ears as something more of a sneering snarl, and apparently despite fairly literally smelling like roses – at least rose and lavender scented soaps – the creature was still a little intimidating.

But then, Cerberus's target was focused only on very white, very sharp looking fangs and those ebony claws rapping fast as a fleeting pulse. As powerful muscles tenses and became poised for a well earned chase, he watched Faize slowly back away to where he had come from.

"Doggie..." Lymle said with a smile as Faize gave a look assuming clearing this mess was a better punishment. He took a very slow and resigning sigh; but then at least this would justify the fact that a hellfire cart wheeling hellhound was in fact very dangerous. And dangerously clean so he would not smudge the blue walls as he ran.

Faize stumbled slightly. "Er, Lym, can you call him back. Please?"

"My name is Lymle, not Lym," she declared softly, smiling at the slightly high panic in his voice. In the next moment there was nothing else for her to see but a whipping of lime green hair, her good natured chicken and a roar of barking canine laughter as slightly aflame fur dashed past her. Sinking down Lymle attempted to remember what cleansing Symbols were to help scour the mess, even if she had preferred learning about something a little more impressive.

She began to hum to the tone of energetic circuits drumming overhead and smiled, somewhat glad that Cerberus had so much exercise since they had come here. She looked up as Reimi's eyes widened as Reimi entered. "What a mess..."

"My doggie is chasing Faize," the small girl announced, wiping something of a beaded tear of laughter from the corner of her eye before rubbing at a muddy stain and the Earthling nodded, looking skywards. "But he is clean now, Reirei."

"Thanks Lym... I just wish that I'd got to him before he scratched up the floor; Faize is going to have a rub buffing that," she announced, shrugging before fetching materials to clean the mess with. In all likelihood it would take Cerberus a long time to work out the aggression of encountering soapy water and come to terms with the fact he was unable to de-bow himself.

* * *

**A/N:** Sawahii here! _Hopefully_ you should be seeing some updates from us soon (yeah, I know I should really get 'round to writing that other one)! Hope you enjoyed reading! They were a bundle of joy to write! We're going to have another brainstorming session soon for ideas so please feel free to join us or just come along to chat! :)

**-Super Rambling Forumers**

Oh yes, and a big enormous Thank You to Shiaori and Akumarayne for just being too awesome! *hugs*


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